Characters/pairings: Ianto/Lisa, prospective Ianto/Jack
Warnings (including spoilers): Spoilers for S1E4 Cyberwoman.
Wordcount: 1,753 words
Author’s note: Fills the 'Fake relationship' square on my Trope Bingo card.
Author's note 2: This was meant to be a later chapter in There’s More Than One Kind of Insomnia (which you can read on my ff.net account if you like, as long as you remember I was younger then and are a forgiving person re: writing quality), a one-shot that I’d intended to make a multi-chap, but I suck at sequels so this has been sitting around for years, and I want it out of my files. Anyway, if it seems a bit confusing at first, that’s why, but it’ll explain itself, I promise. (Yes, this fic has gained sentience in my head. Pardon me while I check myself in somewhere.)
Author's note 3: I bloody hate HTML.
Summary: Ianto has a difficult discussion with his girlfriend, and the Cyberman plans.
Ianto spent days wondering what to do.
He considered going through with it. It wasn’t like Lisa and Jack would ever meet, and once she got better he would likely never see the captain again. While it would open him to taunts from Owen and Suzie and endless innuendos and flirting from Jack, it would have the advantage of making the team pay him even less attention than they already were: Ianto knew that once he was pigeon-holed as the captain’s arm candy they wouldn’t expect him to be anything else.
The obvious move was to tell Jack no. Ianto had always considered himself too loyal, too ethical to ever cheat, and Jack hadn’t pressured him at all, just offered to share his bed for mutual comfort.
What he couldn’t do was ponder any longer. The captain was watching him more than ever, from small, intimate touches when no one could see to longing glances when anyone could, to teasing him with his closeness whenever Ianto stayed over at the Hub.
Finally, he decided that the right thing to do was discuss it with Lisa. They were supposed to be working together, after all, in fixing her and keeping her safe from Torchwood: this decision could have such a large effect on that process that it could be the thing that saved or damned them. Ianto trusted Lisa’s judgment; she’d always known better than him how to negotiate through office politics and the like, and wasn’t that essentially what this was?
After Tosh had gone home, and Owen and Suzie had gone to shag, and Jack had gone to stand on a roof, Ianto went down to the dark hallway behind the cells where he’d hidden Lisa. She was usually awake around this time, when the sedatives had worn off but not the painkillers, and it was the at his time that they could talk freely while she had a clear head.
He gave her a kiss then began with the usual check of the medication, IVs, monitors and cyber components before sitting beside her table in a cushioned folding chair he’d scavenged. “Lisa,” he said hesitantly, “something’s happened.”
“Have you located Doctor Tanizaki?” she asked.
Ianto winced. His progress on that front hadn’t been coming along well. “Not yet. This is… different.”
“What is it, Ianto?” She tried to look at him, but her head couldn’t move inside the helmet, so he shifted the chair forward.
“Captain Harkness has… propositioned me.” Ianto could feel himself blushing but managed to keep from looking away. This was just another obstacle in their quest; just another choice to be made with clear heads and rational consideration. He didn’t want to do it; he wasn’t a cheater.
“He asked you out?” Lisa’s eyes went wide. Ianto hastened to explain.
“No! It’s not like that. He’s not really the dating type.” He tugged at his collar, feeling the conversation start to get to him. “I’m around here a lot, and he saw that I was having trouble sleeping, and he offered to-” Ianto stopped stuttering, swallowed his pride, and spat it out. “Well, to tire me out, more or less.”
Lisa blinked, mouth open. “And… what did you say?” she whispered.
“I didn’t say anything,” he assured her. “I said I needed to think about it. I wanted to talk about it with you.”
“Do you want to… you know?”
“No! Lisa,” he knelt next to her, the concrete pressing painfully through his trousers. “I love you,” he said gently. “I’m doing all this to help you. I don’t want him.”
“Then why didn’t you tell him no?” Her brown eyes stared at him with what looked like betrayal.
Ianto sighed. “He’s… Jack is very- enthusiastic. I thought, maybe if I could direct that in a- in a sexual manner, then he wouldn’t be as suspicious as to why I was here so late taking care of you.” He smoothed one hand down her cheek.
Lisa bit her lip. “I think you should do it.”
He froze. “You do?”
She nodded with the short range of motion the helmet allowed. “I think- you’re right. It will distract him. And I worry about you, Ianto.” She spoke tentatively. “I worry, maybe… you’ll meet another girl, one who’s not damaged, and-”
“No, no Lisa,” he soothed. “There’s no way. I love you,” he whispered against her cheek, kissing her softly. “I would never do this unless we both agreed it were necessary.”
She smiled softly. “I know this doesn’t mean you don’t love me.”
“Of course not.”
“And… it could be fun, right?” She tried to smile, but Ianto could tell the painkillers were starting to fade. “We all heard about him in London, didn’t we?”
“All that practice, he’s got to know a few things, eh?” he tried to joke, ignoring that fact that his mouth was dry and his skin was prickling with heat. “I’ve got to put you under now, Lisa, all right?”
“I know,” she responded tightly. He quickly injected the waiting syringe into her main IV. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ianto,” she murmured as she drifted off.
“I love you,” he whispered, throat tight. He waited until she was gone, then, hands shaking, smoothed down his shirt and straightened his tie, and began the walk up to Jack’s office.
SUBJECT I. JONES enters Room 1. Performs minor mating ritual with host body. Examines external monitoring of conversion unit. Sits next to conversion unit.
“Lisa? Something’s happened.”
SUBJECT I. JONES was attempting to locate doctor in cybernetics to complete conversion.
HUMAN POINT 2 inquires respective to current stage of mission.
“Not yet. This is… different.”
Body movements of SUBJECT I. JONES suggest current stage of mission not proceeding as planned. Bring up at later date, suggest new methods D and E. Voice patterns suggest stress, most likely caused by human emotions.
HUMAN POINT 2 inquires respective to situation presented. Moves to acquire data from facial expression of SUBJECT I. JONES: experience notes that this host species expresses emotion through the front of the head.
“Captain Harkness has… propositioned me.”
HUMAN POINT 2 searches memory banks for information on SUBJECT ‘CAPTAIN HARKNESS’.
Information accessed from data uploaded at Canary Wharf location: harknessCaptJ.docx. Information accessed from host body respective to ‘gossip’, ‘hot Torchwood guys’ and ‘Torchwood Three’. Information accessed from short term data, 328 instances. Information accessed from host body and short term data respective to SUBJECT I. JONES.
Accessing short term data… accessing… accessing…
HUMAN POINT 2 searches memory banks respective to definition: (v) proposition.
1. To propose a plan, a deal, etc., to.
2. To propose usually illicit sexual relations to.
ANALYSIS: SUBJECT J. HARKNESS suggested sexual relations to SUBJECT I. JONES. SUBJECT I. JONES has expressed disgust in the past at the idea of casual sexual relationships.
HUMAN POINT 2 inquires respective to the manner of suggested activity.
SUBJECT I. JONES denies future performance of human mating ritual ‘dating’ with SUBJECT J. HARKNESS.
Body movements and facial expressions of SUBJECT I. JONES suggest discomfort and embarrassment.
“I’m around here a lot, and he saw that I was having trouble sleeping, and he offered to- well, to tire me out, more or less.”
Facial expression of SUBJECT I. JONES suggests disgust and unwillingness to accept proposition. Heart rate and temperature of SUBJECT I. JONES, as well as secondary facial expressions, suggest curiosity, sexual interest and willingness to accept proposition.
ANALYSIS: SUBJECT I. JONES is willing to accept proposition, but does not want for the host body to be aware of the desire.
HUMAN POINT 2 expresses insecurity on the part of the host body.
SUBJECT I. JONES touches the host body’s face and verbally expresses strong emotional connection. Insists all motives are solely for the mission.
“I don’t want him.”
Secondary facial characteristics of SUBJECT I. JONES suggest previous statement to be a lie.
HUMAN POINT 2 expresses insecurity and challenge to previous statement on the part of the host body.
“He’s… Jack is very- enthusiastic. I thought, maybe if I could direct that in a- in a sexual manner, then he wouldn’t be as suspicious as to why I was here so late taking care of you.”
Information accessed from short term data respective to SUBJECT J. HARKNESS. Information accessed from host body and short term data respective to SUBJECT I. JONES.
Analyzing… analyzing… analyzing… analyzing… analyzing…analyzing…
ANALYSIS: SUBJECT I. JONES appears to form strong emotional connections based on sexual intercourse. SUBJECT J. HARKNESS is reputed not to form strong emotional connections based on sexual intercourse. SUBJECT I. JONES has formed previous strong emotional connections with the host body. Provided correct emotional manipulation on the part of the host body, sexual affair with SUBJECT J. HARKNESS could improve emotional connection with the host body respective to guilt.
HUMAN POINT 2 expresses reluctant support respective to the mission.
SUBJECT I. JONES expresses surprise.
HUMAN POINT 2 expresses support respective to the mission and insecurity on the part of the host body.
SUBJECT I. JONES performs minor mating ritual with the host body.
“I would never do this unless we both agreed it were necessary.”
HUMAN POINT 2 expresses confidence in strong emotional connection between SUBJECT I. JONES and host body on the part of the host body.
Facial expression and body language of SUBJECT I. JONES suggest agreement with previous statement. Secondary facial expressions suggest doubt and guilt.
HUMAN POINT 2 references details respective to ‘gossip’ accessed from host body’s memory. Host body’s pain sensors are beginning to be affected by incomplete conversion.
SUBJECT I. JONES references details corroborated by ‘gossip’ from host body’s memory. Multiple biological markers of SUBJECT I. JONES suggest sexual interest and anticipation.
“I’ve got to put you under now, Lisa, all right?”
SUBJECT I. JONES exposes host body to chemicals which are effective in dulling host body’s sensory perception. HUMAN POINT 2 is affected respective to sensory perception through the host body. Cybernetic sensors are not affected by chemical exposure.
HUMAN POINT 2 performs human ritual ‘farewell’.
SUBJECT I. JONES verbally expresses strong emotional connection. SUBJECT I. JONES exits Room 1.
HUMAN POINT 2 accessing short term data respective to AFFAIR BETWEEN SUBJECT I. JONES AND SUBJECT J. HARKNESS.
ANALYSIS: SUBJECT I. JONES will be distracted from continuing conversion. SUBJECT J. HARKNESS will be distracted from discovering HUMAN POINT 2. SUBJECT I. JONES will feel guilt and strengthen emotional connection with the host body, encouraging determination to complete mission.
PROGNOSIS: Mission is successful.